Where would our splendid globe be without us pirates? We, pirates, we have a mission!
We hijack the gold laden galleons of the filthily rich, to save them from smelling badly like their money, to spend their gold subsidising the ailing whiskey, beer and wine industries!
We sail the seven seas in a heroic battle to save the world from the threats of global warming!
Pirates, wear your eye patches with double pride today!